Reflection

I just took a good look at myself in the mirror. I'm incredibly pale. I look dead, I do. There's no color in me. Weirdly, I have no symptoms of feeling ill or tired for that matter. Is this a common occurance in manics? I wonder. Perhaps the body feels differently then the mind, perhaps this is a warning sign. Obviously a bit concerning when you look dead but your mind is racing faster than you can keep up with.

So what to hear some more manic-y-ness? I want to start 5 websites. One a placeholder for my eating disorder clinic - perhaps I could be a non-profit clinic? Hmm. Two for selling merchandise. One about guinea pigs - I'm planning on transforming my room at my house into a rescue. More on that later. And one a vast social-networking-type-ish site.

I do want to have my own eating disorder clinic. I struggle(d) with it myself. Been through anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating. Even had some odd behaviors such as chewing and spitting and purging without bingeing. I've been through the most of it, so I know what I'm talking about. I also know how I would want treatment. I never went into a treatment facility for my eating disorder, which I do regret to this day, but if I had I would want it a specific way. And since I hear awful reports from others I want to make my clinic the best. I want it to be a residential style facilty but also have a medical wing just in case....there's a BUNCH of other stuff I want it to be, just to wet your mouth I'll say that I want it to accomodate vegans. I have never heard of a facility doing this. And I know ALOT of those with eating disorders are vegan. I want to show people it is possible to get nutrition and to gain/maintain weight with veganism. I'm currently not a vegan, I'm a lacto vegetarian (despite being lactose intolerant) because I can't give up my ice cream and string cheese. I did for a good year but it's too damn yummy!

My next two sites will be merchandise/retail. One will be specifically for female paintballers (don't even ask how I came up with this as I can't explain it, all I know is that I'm drawn to it) and the other for highly unique clothing (think furry leg warmers as an example). After the sites are a success then a real store will open up in my home town...it would be so incredibly awesome to actually have a store. It will happen!

My next site will be about guinea pigs. As I mentioned above I want to turn my room at home into a guinea pig rescue (my room sits over a 3 car garage, it's plenty big). I want to build huge cages, think over 10feet long. I will rescure both male and female guinea pigs, there will be plenty of room. A thing I was debating, perhaps I should not operate as a rescue but rather an adoption home. Another part of me wants to become a breeder. I want to bread Silkies and Americans. Those are two types of guinea pig breeds, btw.

My last site, the social-networking-type-ish site I'm not going to explain. It's my idea, not yours. It's a fantastic idea, so huge and great you'll never guess it. It'll be the next big MySpace, FaceBook, Twitter, etc.

My parents are frustrated with me. After long discussions and me literally going off the wall (I was running and throwing myself against the wall) I decided to take my evening meds. My mom told me she didn't care if I slept 'til noon as long as I was using the weekend to get back on my meds. I guess I should probably be one them, shouldn't I.