Fatness

I can't help but look at my abdomen. It's fat. I can squeeze the fat. It's DISGUSTING. All the while I can't stop eating.

Tomorrow I'm starving myself. It will be the first day of my restriction. I will starve all through Christmas break. I want to be 135lbs by New Year's. Then I want to be 105lbs by April 1st.

Don't tell me this shit is irrational. I know it is. But I'm so fucking sick of being fat. SICK OF BEING FAT!

I'm fucking 19 years old. I will do whatever the fuck I want to. If I want to be 105lbs. I WILL be 105lbs. SO fuck everyone else.