Bulimic dorm mates

Evidently there are plenty of bulimics on my floor. I'm so sick (no pun intended) of walking into the bathrooma and either a) finding someone actively purging or b) finding the remains of purging. Like seriously...what the fuck? Why does no one address this? Obviously there are plenty of bulimics walking around. I mean, statisically, there are alot of bulimics who are in college. And it pisses me off that there isn't a support group for those with EDs on my campus. Honestly, the counseling services here suck. Even my case was too "complicated" and "complex". So I had to go back to seeing my old T. Which isn't bad...you know I didn't even like the counselor I saw. She kept interrupting me. You know what. I was 24 days free from purging. I wanted to show her how strong I was. She told me that I was too high a risk of relapse to be seen by her. You know what? I fucking RELAPSED because of her rejecting me! That's when I started binge and purging...eventually leading me to binge/purging on average of 10 times a day. That's when I spent over $300 in less than a week on food just to puke it back up. GRRRR.

So luckily I'm over that. Now I'm on to restricting. I so desperately wish to be anorexic...bulimia is awful, digusting, degrading, yuck yuck yuck. And you know what...I WILL be. I will be 105lbs by April 1st...if not sooner.

I'm so glad that I get to sleep in tomorrow. I'm exhausted tonight. But I'm waiting up for my mother to call me.

I'm seeing my T on Friday after finals. So, I guess that will be interesting. Last time we talked about my fear of physical contact and attraction and such. Of course we talked about my then-manic state and she warned me I would get depressed. And hell, I sure did get depressed! Suicidal depression...definately not fun. So that'll probably be no surprise, though when I tell her just how depressed I was she might...err...be concerned. BUT I am no longer in that state, so yay!

Okay, sleep time.